Megaman Zero: Waking the menace
by SylentStryke
Summary: This is my take on what really happened 100 years after Zero went to sleep. Humor abound. And this summary sucks. Please R&R. Chapter 2 up!
1. From Hero to Zero

Megaman Zero: Waking the menace

By: SylentStryke

BEWARE OF EXTREME OOC'ness!

Disclaimer: I don't own any Capcom or other brand name items mentioned in this fic.

Chapter 1: From Hero to Zero

"Huff, huff, huff." A girl dressed in pink ran through a forest. She was followed by five soldiers in green followed by three droids in blue. "We have to keep running!" Said the girl in pink. One of the soldiers stopped, turned around and began shooting at the blue enemy. "Ha ha! It's three of us against one of them!" The blue reploid continued it's march towards the three greenies. "Um, why isn't he dead by now? Also, I can't see my bullets." The second green soldier asked. The blue soldier raised his weapon. "Aw, crap! These are toy rifles!" Three slow moving bullets approached them. "Um, I think we should move." "Nonsense! If you read the script this morning, you would have known that we die for two reasons: One, to show that we are next to useless, and two, that we BLEED!" "Oh, ok. Yeah, that makes sense." Needless to say, all three died.

"Puff, pant, hah." Ciel said as she and four green soldiers moved through the forest. Two more broke off this time. "Dammit! Don't they learn!" A pissed off green soldier said while running. "Actually, those two tripped. Plus, it's in the script." Milan, the first green soldier said.

We cut over to Neo Arcadia, where we see the Golems being launched. "Send the Golems!" Said a voice. "Why? A single Pantheon can take out the entire force with a Nerf gun ( I don't own Nerf!), and we already sent out three. Why use a Golem?" Said a second voice. "Because Capcom said so."

Back over to the forest. Three identical green soldiers were playing cards, waiting for the Golems to come all the way from Neo Arcadia. Seconds later, two Golems appear and wait for the reploids to pay attention to them. "Got any fours?" "Go fish!" "So, what are you doing after this?" "Not much. I'll die, then later on appear in the base in multiple spots at once." "Same here!"

"HEY!" The lead Golem said, alerting them to its presence. "Oh, guys, here!" The first soldier said, putting the cards away. "Ahem! What kind of monsters are these?" The third reploid said, reading his script. A beam shot out from the golem and killed the three identical soldiers.

"Puff, wheeze, hack!"

"Oh no! A dead end!" Ciel said as the small cyber elf next too her floated around the impossibly large door in front of them. "Wait. Why is there a door in the middle of a forest?" Ciel asked her cyber elf friend. "Forget the door: why are we even existing? According to the X series, Zero is still awake, as in not asleep. And here we are, about to wake him up. So, how in the..." "There's a loophole to fill every plot-hole, Passy." Milan said as he bombed the door.

"Come on, Ciel! I see something." Milan said as he went into the huge flooded room. Ciel walked about halfway into the doorway and immediately jumped back. "Eek! I'm not walking in cold, stale water!" Ciel said disapprovingly. Milan face vaulted in the nasty water. "Get over here if you want to be three more plot-hole filled games!" Ciel dubiously walked over to where Milan was standing. The quiet soldier following them turned and started shooting at air with his standard issue toy.

"Wow. This must be Zero." Ciel said as she eyed the incomplete reploid. "How can you tell?" Passy asked her human comrade. "He has the best kept hair in the world. Can't you see how long it is? And even after a century of not washing, brushing, and trimming it, it's all still there!" Milan took a breath and inched closer to the sleeping reploid. He flew back and bawled loudly. "Milan! Why'd you do that?" Ciel asked the reploid. He produced a contract out of nowhere. "Oh." "Wah!" The quiet reploid soldier wailed as he was gunned down by three Nerf balls.

"Oh no! Ciel! Get out of here!" Milan said, taking the three slow moving shots for the pink girl. He returned imaginary fire. "No, I can't leave you behind!" Ceil said. "There's no time to argue! You must go now!" Milan was hit with three more Nerf blasts and flew back into the stale water, hollering as he went. "MILAN! Milan, speak to me!" Ciel said crying. "Tell Cerveau, that his gun, sucks ass." Milan's body went limp.

The three Pantheons approached the terrified girl. "Ciel!" A small voice yelled. "..." Ciel continued to sob. The Pantheons suddenly appeared five steps closer without moving. "Ciel!" "I can't believe I'm sitting in this dirty water!" The Pantheons appeared closer. "Ciel! Ciel! Ciel! Ciel! Ciel! CIEL! #&ing pay attention to me! Gawd, this is why Navi ( Nintendo owns Zelda ) quit her job! Ciel, you have to use my power! It's the only way!"

"But you'll..." Ciel started. "DO IT!" Ciel grabbed the small elf and forcefully threw her at the sleeping reploid. "Passy!" The elf collided with the reploid and a second later, a bright light erupted from the ground, encasing the reploid.

When the light cleared, a reploid in red, black, gold and white armor was standing next to Ciel in the murky water. The Pantheons continued to stand where they were. Zero eyed them with a murderous glance. Someone had awakened the menace.

Dum dum dum-dum-dum duuuuuuuuummmm...

* * *

So I, um, stayed up til 3:00 am writing this, and I hope you enjoy. I just figured that I should write a humor to keep myself from getting a writer's block. Uhh. Tired. Going to bed now. Stay tuned for more crazyness in Chapter 2! G'night. 


	2. I fear change

Megaman Zero: Waking the menace

By: SylentStryke

Many thanks go out to my reviewers!

Disclaimer: I don't own any Capcom or other brand name items mentioned in this fic.

**Chapter 2: I fear change...**

Zero eyed the Pantheons with a curious glare. Then he noticed the girl sitting in the water next to him. Then he remembered the background music that was currently playing. "Zero...please help m-" "Oh yeah! I remember this song!" Zero exclaimed, while he began playing his air guitar. The pantheons looked at the new reploid with confusion. "Zero...ahem...help me ple--" Zero stretched out his arms and let out a huge yawn. "Ahhh! That does the trick!" Then the cool intro stage music scratched off. "Zero! HELP ME!" Zero turned around to see a girl in pink pulling on what seemed to be a long golden rope, which oddly made him feel pain in the back of his head.

"Hey, stop that! It hurts! Why are you...pulling...my..." Zero's face was blank. Ciel had stopped tugging on the thin rope. "Umm, are you okay?"

"..."

"Zero?"

"..."

"Hello?"

"> :("

Zero turned around and faced the Pantheons. He gripped his hair as he did so. "Who. Would. Dare. Cut. The. Hair. Of. ZERO?" He now had a sinister glare. "Now it's time to kick some ass..." Zero went into a battle pose and dashed at the nearest Pantheon. He reached towards his back and swung his arm down at his opponent. To his surprise, he just tackled the group of X-droids. Standing up, he went into a thinking position. "Okay, I **know** something is wrong here. Wait a sec..." Zero held out his arm and waited for a buster to warp on his arm. Ciel, still shocked from his hairy outburst, sat in the water.

"What are you doing?" A pantheon said. "Well, usually when I do this, a cannon appears on my arm. But it's not working." "Oh, you have a Nerf now. It's in your left pocket." Zero reached down and pulled out a medium sized energy gun. It had yellow words that had been scribbled over with a black Sharpie. Under the scribbles was a poorly scribed 'Z-BUSTER'.

"Oh great. I guess it was too much work for the artists to draw my forearm a bit bigger. Now what happens if I were to drop this?" Zero said loudly. Nonetheless, he shot the Pantheons with the Nerf Buster Z, and continued on.

As he went, he noticed the girl in pink following him. "_Perfect. I wake up and this is what I get. No buster arm, but a buster gun. No thick, long hair, but a skinny rope..._"

"Um, Zero. Why are you walking like a cowboy?" Zero looked down at his armor. "Oh, why the hell not! Why _not_ take away my huge armored boots!" Zero bellowed. He promptly adjusted his posture, seeing as now he no longer had rocket boots.

Many enemies later, Zero and Ciel found themselves at a dead end. "Hmm. A dead end. What should we do?" Ciel asked Zero, as if he had the ultimate answer. Ciel spotted a weak spot in the floor. Well, the _entire_ floor was a weak spot. So what does she do?

"Hey, I'm gonna go stand on that floor." As soon as she did so, she found herself falling down a pit. Zero rushed forward to catch her, but missed and also fell into the pit. "Wah Zero! Help me!" Zero eventually caught up to her while freefalling. They landed with a thud, Zero being on the bottom, Ciel landing on top of the red reploid.

"You...thank you...for breaking my fall." Zero just lay there for a minute before getting up. He walked over to the girl in pink, ready to choke the crap out of her. "_How DARE you use ME for a PILLOW!_" "Heh, another dead end." Ciel said, staring at the large pile of rubble while oblivious of the impending doom behind her. Zero saw something on the other side flicker.

"Um, you might want to move out of th..."

"I wonder why this pile of rocks is here. I was here ten minutes ago."

"It's probably a trap. So that means you should probably watch out fo..."

"I know! It's probably a trap!" Sure enough, a giant metal hand broke through the barrier and grabbed the girl and pulled her back into the room. Zero ran towards the hand involuntarily because the player pushed 'Right' on the D-Pad on his Gameboy Advance.

Zero arrived in the room and saw that Ciel was in the grasp of a giant mechanoid. Zero sweatdropped as the thing floated around in front of him.

"Zero! Run! You can't damage this thing with a Nerf, I mean, buster..."

"You know, I think your right about that! See ya!" Zero said as he turned and left. Or he would have left, if a huge chunk of debris didn't fall out of nowhere. A warning alarm filled the room as Zero frantically clawed at the debris. The golem rushed at Zero with full speed. Because he was in a panic, Zero was able to quickly scale the wall and avoid the charge. In retaliation, he fired off a few shots at the golems head. It howled in pain, and Zero smirked at this. He continued to shoot at the golem's head, doing with to no damage.

The golem shot a beam at Zero who was on the ground. As the laser neared Zero, he wall climbed, dodging the laser. The golem stopped shooting at Zero and aimed for the ceiling. Zero dropped down and teased the giant.

"Heh hah heh! You couldn't hit the broadside of General!" Zero said, pulling his lower eyelids down and sticking out his tongue. He bit his tongue when a large rock fell on top of his head. Needless to say, he yelled rather loudly.

"Rats!" Just then, a nearby console flickered to life. A voice started talking to Zero.

"ZERO. USE THIS."

"Huh? Who are you?" A spinning object shot out from the console and collided with Zero's head. It continued to ignite and get stuck in the floor.

"THERE'S NO TIME. HURRY, YOU MUST SAVE HER..."

"Why are you yelling at me!"

"OH, SORRY. CAPS LOCK WAS ON. HEHE, IT STILL IS."

Zero picked up the glowing sword and stared at it with awe. Then his hopped on the wall and dashed toward the golem. Lifting the saber over his head and closing his eyes, Zero slammed it down. He heard a high-pitched scream as the saber connected.

"AHH! THAT HURT! OPEN YOUR #$#$IN EYES, FOOL!" A more than angry Ciel barked. Zero sheepishly climbed the wall and sliced the golem this time. Ciel was dropped to the ground and covered by Zero. Zero had no idea why she needed to be shielded from the explosion, seeing as how she was accidentally smacked with a plasma weapon. A contract appeared out of nowhere, showing him the president of Capcom's signature.

"Wow, I can't believe...that...you..." Ciel started. "Defeated a golem?" Zero said, striking a pose.

"I can't believe that you hit ME INSTEAD OF THE GOLEM!" Ciel shouted as she towered over the crimson baby. "Come on! Let's go!" Ciel yelled as she walked through the door. Zero followed her like a child about to be punished.

Ciel showed Zero the Trans Server. Zero said he had a better way, and jumped up repeatedly. After several attempts, many including crashing into the ceiling, Zero accepted the fact that his instant transit warp was removed as well. He used the Trans Server and warped back into the Resistance Base with Ciel.

* * *

Chapter 2, just for you! I don't think this one was as funny as I wanted it to be. But, still, I enjoyed writing it! I hope you enjoy reading it! Reviews are always welcome. Next up, Zero meets the Resistance and goes on his first mission! Till next time! 


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